Helping Young Children Handle Big Feelings: 3 Connection-Based Tools for Parents

Big feelings are part of being human—and for young children, they can feel huge. Maybe your toddler is sobbing because their banana broke in half, or your preschooler is yelling after it’s time to leave the playground. These intense emotional moments are part of healthy development, but they can also leave parents feeling confused, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to help.

The good news? You don’t have to “fix” your child’s feelings. In fact, your support is the most powerful tool you have. By offering calm connection, you help your child feel safe in the storm—and learn lifelong skills for handling hard emotions.

Here are three simple, research-informed tools to help your little one manage big feelings while strengthening your bond.

1. Name the Feeling: Emotion Coaching

Emotion coaching is a powerful way to help children understand what they’re feeling and begin to build emotional regulation skills. It starts by simply noticing what’s going on and naming the emotion you see.

You might say something like:
“You look really disappointed. You were having so much fun, and now it’s time to go. That’s hard.”

Why it works: When children hear their feelings named and accepted, they begin to internalize that their emotions are okay—and manageable. It also reduces power struggles, since they feel seen instead of dismissed.

Pro tip: Keep your tone warm and calm. You don’t need to agree with your child’s behavior to validate how they feel.

2. Describe What You See: The Power of Sportscasting

“Sportscasting” means narrating what your child is doing in the moment—without judgment or instruction. It might sound like:
“You’re stacking those blocks so high!”
Or, during a tough moment:
“You really wanted the red truck. Your hands are in fists, and your face looks mad.”

Why it works: Sportscasting builds your child’s emotional vocabulary and helps them feel deeply seen. It can also reduce tension, because your calm observations help ground both of you in the present moment.

This technique is especially useful during sibling squabbles, tricky transitions, or any time your child is trying to communicate something through their behavior.

3. Create Special Time: A Connection-Focused Routine

One of the most powerful ways to reduce emotional outbursts is to regularly fill your child’s “connection cup.” Try setting aside 10–15 minutes a few times a week for what I like to call Sunshine Time—a one-on-one play session where your child leads and you follow.

Let them choose the activity (blocks, pretend play, puzzles—whatever lights them up), and give them your full attention. No phones. No teaching. Just being together.

Call it by name—like “Liam Time” . This small but intentional ritual helps your child feel loved and important, which makes cooperation and emotion regulation easier throughout the day.

Building Emotional Resilience Starts with Connection

Just like learning to walk or talk, learning how to manage big feelings takes time, practice, and support. Some days will be smoother than others—and that’s okay. What matters most is that your child knows you’re a safe, steady presence, even when the emotions feel too big for them to handle alone.

By using tools like emotion coaching, sportscasting, and special playtime, you're not just surviving the toddler years—you’re giving your child the foundation for a lifetime of emotional health and strong relationships.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to show up with presence, love, and a willingness to learn alongside your child.